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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/28417908">you drew stars around my scars</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/MaddieandChimney/pseuds/MaddieandChimney'>MaddieandChimney</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>Meet Cutes [20]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>9-1-1 (TV)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Alternate Universe, F/M, meet cute</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-12-30</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-01-10</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-10 18:21:01</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>4</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>6,580</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/28417908</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/MaddieandChimney/pseuds/MaddieandChimney</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>The last thing Maddie expects is to fall for the kind eyed paramedic who helped her and her twins out of their burning apartment building. But there she is, three years after her husband's death, finally willing to open up her heart to someone new.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Evan "Buck" Buckley &amp; Maddie Buckley, Maddie Buckley/Howie "Chimney" Han</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>Meet Cutes [20]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/series/1927492</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>5</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>21</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. Chapter 1</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>They are absolutely fine which is the only solace she can take as she watches their apartment building burning right in front of their very eyes. They hadn’t lived there long but it seemed as though every single time they settled down and found somewhere to call home, something got in the way. Three months they had been in LA and there they were, literally watching their life go up in flames, silently thankful that they had come to the city with a few suitcases of clothes and nothing more.</p><p>It just feels like a setback but it’s nothing new. Nothing they couldn’t deal with, right?  </p><p>Maddie takes a breath, feeling the way her lungs burn as she does before she wraps her arms around each of the children that stand by her side, leaning down to press a kiss to her son’s head and then her daughter’s, just thankful that the two most precious things in the world to her were standing beside her. They were all she needed in the world, nothing else mattered… no amount of furniture or photographs, toys… it could all be replaced.</p><p>She coughs, loud enough to pull the attention of her children away from the building and enough that a paramedic is running over to her barely a few seconds later. The same paramedic who had escorted them from the building a few minutes before. “Hey, ma’am, are you okay?”</p><p>“Mom?” Their voices sound at the same time, as they so often do, the twins so perfectly in sync as she carefully rubs each of their backs and nods her head. It’s easy to force a smile, knowing her kids are watching, knowing they need comfort more than anything else right then.</p><p>“I’m fine, just—” Another cough cuts her off, enough that her son grabs onto the back of her shirt as though he thinks he can take her weight if she needs him. He probably wouldn’t be too far off the mark, he’s only nine and he’s definitely going to be towering over her in a year or two whilst her daughter seems to have been blessed with her short stature.</p><p>Han, she can see from his name tag, steps forward to pull her gently with him, a kind smile on his lips and a comforting touch on her back before she finds herself sitting down in the back of the nearest ambulance as he places an oxygen mask so carefully over her face. She focuses, for just a second, on the scar in the middle of his forehead and then the softness of his eyes in an attempt to stop herself from panicking when she hears the sound of her little girl crying.</p><p>Her hand moves over the mask, just as her brown-eyed, dark haired son sits next to her with nothing but concern on his face and a stubbornness that matches her own. His hand moving to cover her own as he looks at her, “Keep it on, mom.” He is nine years old and it’s with relief that she knows that he is the kindest, most caring, gentlest child she has ever known. He is Buckley through-and-through, knowing that all he wants to do is help people just as she and her brother had always known they wanted.</p><p>“I’m Howie, I’m gonna take good care of your mom, okay?” She watches as he reaches out a hand for the little girl, who looks at him with suspicion for just a second until she places her tiny hand in his, her other hand still clutching onto the cuddly dog she had managed to grab as the smoke filled their apartment. She’s sitting next to her just a few seconds later, when he lifts her up and she snuggles into Maddie’s side, her eyes remaining on the man in front of her as she does. “What’s your name?”</p><p>It’s her son who answers, always protective, always stoic in nature whenever a stranger dare to speak to them regardless of the circumstances. She can remember when their father had died, three years before, how he had told her at just six, that he was man of the house now and he would look after them no matter what. “Her name is Ella and I’m Caleb.” She lifts her hand back up to remove the mask, only to be met with the stern look of both Howie and Caleb, “This is our mom… Maddie Buckley.”</p><p>The man kneeling in front of them is slow to nod his head, shining a torch into her eyes as he checks her over, “Your mom is going to be just fine but I think we should get you all to the hospital just to make sure, you might have inhaled some smoke so—”</p><p>“My mom is a nurse and my uncle is a firefighter, we know.” Caleb’s tone is enough to get her to take the mask off as she shakes her head, inhaling as a way to test her own lungs before she shoots a smile at the patient paramedic.</p><p>“I wanna get them checked over, so that would be great.” Plus, it’s not as though she could go anywhere else, it’s three in the morning and she doesn’t want to wake up her brother who had followed her to LA not too long after she had moved there and joined the LAFD Academy in a bid to help as many people as he could after so many years of just travelling and trying to find himself.</p><p>His smile grows wider before he nods his head and moves to tilt his head to shout to someone on the other side of the parked ambulance before he climbs up on the step, holding out a hand which she gratefully takes with a smile, pulling her to a standing position as carefully as he can before he leads her towards the stretcher. It doesn’t take a second for both Ella and Caleb to follow them further inside, the two of them moving to sit down whilst her son keeps a careful eye on them and Ella just looks entirely enthralled with the fact she’s in the back of an ambulance for the first time. “Are you gonna turn the sirens on?”</p><p>He’s standing in front of Maddie when he talks, moving the mask back over her face as she pouts at him and he laughs, “Well, considering you asked <em>so</em> nicely, we’ll get you to the hospital in no time at all.”</p><p>“Can I call my uncle?” Whilst Ella is open, her eyes alight with glee as she stares at the paramedic in front of her with the biggest smile on her face as though he’s just told her that they’re about to go see Santa or buy whatever toy she wants, Caleb is… as reserved as ever. Mistrusting, borderline cold when he doesn’t know the kind of person he’s dealing with and she knows it’s because all he wants to do is protect her and he’s done so for far too long, grown up beyond his nine years in ways she wishes he didn’t have to. She still shoots him a stern look for being a little brash, his hand holding out for a phone as though he’s expecting Howie to just give him one. Which, to his credit and to her surprise, he does.</p><p>“Do you know his number?”</p><p>Caleb nods, “I guess I’ll do it when we get to the hospital, the sirens will be loud, huh?” And there it is, that glimmer of excitement in his eyes, the slight upturn of a smile which has her relaxing as she looks at him. No kid could resist the thrill of a speeding ambulance with blaring sirens, it seemed, especially not her son who so longed to follow in the footsteps of his uncle one day.</p><p>Howie only grins when he turns back to her and gently pushes on her shoulders, “Sorry, health and safety, you know how it is.” She nods, letting him do what he needs to do as he straps her in, her head tilting to the side to watch Caleb put Ella’s seatbelt on and then his own before he takes his sister’s hand and holds it tight. “I work at Mercy, can we go there?” It’s not the nearest hospital, but he nods his head and shoots her a wink that has her cheeks flushing, his hand brushing against hers for a little too long until the sound of the doors slamming shut leads him to move into his seat.</p><p>“Hey, Hen, take us to Mercy, okay?”</p><p>“But—” The woman in the drivers seat, who she can’t see but can hear, as she lies down and makes eye contact with the gentle man sitting nearest to her, lets out a huff, “fine. Mercy it is.” The sound of the sirens comes just a few seconds letter and Maddie finds her eyeline drawn to the twins, Ella so completely unable to hide her glee as she jumps up and down in her seat, whilst Caleb pretends as though he isn’t that bothered but she can see the joy in his eyes and the start of a smile forming on his lips.</p><p>Definitely not the night she had imagined when they had gone to bed a few hours before, the three of them in their matching Christmas themed pyjamas in November but the three of them enjoyed finding little joy in anything they possibly could after so long of drifting from state to state, never really having anywhere to call home until she found stability in the form of Los Angeles. Her eyes meet with those of the paramedics when he looks up from the piece of paper in his hands and when he grins, she feels her heart beating a little faster, trying to tell herself it’s from the smoke inhalation and not the fact that the already handsome man looks even more so when his eyes light up that way.</p><p>She supposes she should be allowed to find some small delight in being rudely awoken by the sound of a smoke alarm so early in the morning. No harm in admiring the view as she listens to her daughter talking all about how they must be going at least five hundred miles an hour and wouldn’t it be cool if an ambulance could take her to school every day because then she’d never be late again (a not so subtle jibe at Maddie’s timekeeping skills, she makes note to thank her daughter for that gem later, especially when the man lets out a laugh).</p><p>It’s easy to take a little pleasure in that sound, too, trying to tell herself that she must be a little delusional and groggy from the sleep or lack of it and the adrenaline crash that was overcoming her quickly. “Keep your eyes open for me, okay, Maddie? Just in case, you know the drill.” She does, but it doesn’t mean she has to like it, tired and semi-embarrassed when she realises her colleagues are going to see her in a state of weakness and maybe she should have asked to be taken somewhere else instead.</p><p>“Is she okay?”</p><p>“Of course she is, we can’t have her missing all the fun, can we?” His voice is calm and collected, a shrug of his shoulders as he so casually reassures her son that she finds herself smiling at him once more, deciding to keep her eyes on him in an attempt to keep herself focused and probably embarrass herself a little more than she already had. But, she probably won’t ever see him again, so… little moments of joy, even when things seem dark, right?</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. Chapter 2</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Maddie doesn’t really know what she’s thinking as she walks into the station that houses the 118, clutching onto a box of homemade brownies with the twins on either side of her. She can see Caleb out of the corner of her eyes, looking around in awe, fixated on the fire trucks in front of him that her brother had promised to give him a tour of one day, when he was a fully fledged firefighter over the next few months.</p><p>She’s nervous because—well, because the particular person she’s hoping to see is cute and kind and had stayed with her kids the night before until her brother could get there and the least she can do is thank him. And maybe, if she’s feeling a sudden urge of confidence, ask him if he maybe wants to go on a date with her. He probably doesn’t She has nine-year-old twins and is currently homeless whilst her brother sleeps on his own floor so Caleb can take the couch and she and Ella can have his bed. And she’s also assuming that he’s single for no reason at all because why an earth would someone like him not have a girlfriend? It’s just hope, she supposes.</p><p>Just one moment of courage, right? And if he’s married (she didn’t see a ring but that doesn’t mean anything in their line of work) or if he’s seeing someone or if he simply isn’t interested, then she sucks up that embarrassment and never sees him again. Hopefully. Her husband died in… traumatic circumstances, to say the least, three years ago but she had fallen out of love with him a long time before that. This was the closest to ready she ever felt to being able to go on a date, so even if it didn’t work out, then… at least that means something.</p><p>It’s with a deep breath that she finds her eyes setting on someone, dressed only in a tank top, muscular and tall in every intimidating sense of it but he’s smiling at her, enough to make her gulp down the lump in her throat as she stares at him, “I’m looking for Paramedic Han… h-he said his name was Howie…”</p><p>“Chimney?” His nose scrunches up in mild confusion and she remembers that she had heard the other paramedic referring to him as that, too, biting down on her lip when she nods her head and suddenly, he’s shouting the other man’s name and a familiar face appears from the balcony above them. Her eyes meet with his for just a second, unable to stop the hope from growing when he smiles wide and practically runs down the stairs.</p><p>“Maddie, Caleb and Ella, right?” He remembered, and that shouldn’t feel strange considering it wasn’t even twenty-four hours ago that he was bundling them into the back of the ambulance but she’s clinging onto the little things right then as her cheeks flush and she lifts the container she’s holding in her hands towards him.</p><p>“We uh, we made brownies to say thank you for last night—or rather, this morning and uh—” She’s grateful when he takes the box from her, his grin even wider when he nods his head, opening up the container a little as he looks at the treats inside.</p><p>And then those brown eyes are meeting with her own again, and she’s not sure if her cheeks can get any redder, “These smell amazing, thank you.”  </p><p>Before she can say anything, Caleb is stepping forward, his body halfway standing in-between both her and the paramedic, his shoulders tense as he stares up at the man. She knows her son can be intense sometimes and she can only imagine the look on his face right then before he talks, “Why do they call you Chimney?” It’s said with all the curiosity of a child, although Howie seems a little… nervous to the  answer before he moves to kneel down in front of the two kids.</p><p>“Well, a few years ago, I was rescuing someone from inside a chimney and I got stuck and everyone I worked with found it absolutely hilarious, so they started joking around and then every single chimney rescue we had to do – which, you’d be surprised, is quite a lot – they’d make me do and eventually… the nickname kinda stuck. I prefer it to Howard, anyway.” It doesn’t seem like the whole story but she bites down on her lip when she sees how engrossed both the kids are in him, and how animated he is as he talks and it’s strange, to see someone who has absolutely no investment or relationship with her children, be so… kind.</p><p>Caleb tilts his head to the side and points towards the pole, and judging by the look on Howie’s face, he’s not at all surprised at the gesture, she imagines it’s what most kids are interested in beside the trucks when they walk into the station. “Do you get to go down that a lot?”</p><p>“You know, it’s not really like it is in the movies, we don’t really use it a lot but—maybe one day you can have a go?”</p><p>“Me too?” Ella is all too quick to pipe up, never one to be left behind when it comes to anything her brother does, big brown eyes meeting with the paramedic’s as she wraps both her arms a little tighter around the brand new cuddly bunny that Maddie had bought her on the way to the station as a tiny apology for the fact that they were homeless before Christmas.</p><p>“Absolutely! Maybe I’ll even let your mom have a go.” He’s grinning at her when he moves to stand back up, biting down on his lip before he turns around, “Hey, Eddie, why don’t you show these two around the truck over there?” The man, Eddie, seems all too eager to do so and she watches them carefully, wary of both the kids going off with a stranger but they’re safe in a fire station and Caleb is asking about a million questions a minute as she takes solace in the fact she can hear his excitable voice from where she’s standing. “How are you doing?”</p><p>The question is genuine, his voice kind and she turns her head to look at him as she chews down on her bottom lip and shrugs her shoulders, “We hadn’t really had a chance to call it home yet, we hadn’t been there long but we’ve been through worse, we’ll get through this.”</p><p>He smiles, hands still clutching onto the container she had given him before she sees the flush of his cheeks moving down to the back of his neck before he takes a deep breath, “Listen, I know this is terrible timing and completely inappropriate of me but uh, if you maybe, uh, wanted to… hang out? I guess, um… talk or whatever, coffee…” A nervous laughs falls from his lips and it just makes him ten times more endearing than she had ever thought possible as she stares at him. “This isn’t going too good, huh?”</p><p>“Are you asking me out on a date?” She hopes if she throws him a bone it’ll make it a little easier on him, watching as he seems to think about it for a second before he takes a step forward and nods his head.</p><p>“Is that totally inappropriate? Or way off base? Because if you’re—”</p><p>“No-no, I mean… yes. I—I’d like to go on a date with you.” She’s all too quick to interrupt him before he can continue rambling because she’s sure the redness of his entire face is probably on par with hers as she can feel the heat of her cheeks, shaking her head at herself when she lets out a laugh, “I uh, maybe you can take my number and we can arrange something?” She just hopes she isn’t sounding too desperate as she looks at him, feeling the way her chest tightens as her heart seems to beat that little bit faster at the sight of the smile on his face. His eyes are alight and it sounds entirely cheesy but she’s certain she could look at that smile all day if she could.</p><p>“Absolutely,” Maddie watches as he digs around his pocket, fumbling with the code on his phone with one hand until he’s holding it out to her and she finds herself taking it with shaking hands and a deep breath, the smile on her face so wide that it’s starting to physically hurt her cheeks when she types her number in. “I’ll text you.” There’s a promise in his tone the second she hands his phone back to him, watching as her two well-timed children come running over to them with excitement on their faces.</p><p>“It’s so cool, mom, Eddie said that we can try it with the sirens next time.”</p><p>“Thank you, Howie, Eddie…” She smiles at them both, listening to the twins voices as they intermingle, the two of them talking about the same thing with the same level of enthusiasm, trying to out-chat the other one when she ushers them away. The second the door closes behind them, listening to Caleb and Ella argue about how many seats the fire truck had, her phone chimes, the smile on her face somehow wider when she sees a smiling face emoji followed by ‘let me know when you’re free, thank you for the brownies’.</p><p>Maybe it’s stupid, but it’s the first time she’s wanted to go on a date with someone in years, so it feels good. More so than she could ever put into words as she sends him a few smiling face emojis back and then tucks her phone away to wrap both of her arms around each twin, “You know what? Why don’t we surprise your Uncle Buck with some pizza tonight, I’m feeling like celebrating.”</p><p>“Celebrating what?”</p><p>She has to think about it for only a second, looking down at her son, “… finding as much joy as we can, even in the dark.”</p><p>“It’s not dark, mommy—”</p><p>“She means hypothetically, idiot.” Ah, yes, the joys of listening to the two of them arguing, similar in only the fact they shared a birthday and had once shared a womb but other than that—as opposite as she and Buck had been when they were kids.</p><p>“No name-calling, please, play nice or me and Buck will be eating pizza and you two can have whatever boring stuff he has in his fridge.” It’s enough, at least, to get them both to shut up, sticking out their tongues at each other before Ella’s hand moves to hers as they walk towards her car. It’s just a little joy in what could have been a soul-crushing moment, losing the place they had called home for the past few months, but she’s used to things not being easy. And maybe this was just meant to be. Maybe.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0003"><h2>3. Chapter 3</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Maddie takes a deep breath as she steps out of her car, having gotten changed seven times and suddenly deciding that what she was wearing was no longer good enough. She hadn’t been on a first date since she was nineteen years old and she was thirty-three now. And this was with a man she barely knew, although they had been texting back and forth for a week now since he’d rescued her from a fire. But a first date is a massive step, especially after being single for three years and she has the kids to think about. If she’s honest with herself, she hadn’t really foreseen a future for herself that involved another man. She had Caleb and Ella and her brother and that was enough but there she was, nervously standing by her car as she chews down on her bottom lip.</p><p>He’d opted for a casual first date after finding out she liked going for walks and apparently he knew of all the best spots in LA. A short hike to a beautiful, quiet beach was what he had promised her and maybe if it were anyone else she’d have considered the fact that she was about to be murdered but for some completely unknown reason, she felt some form of trust. Besides, her location was turned on and her brother knew exactly where she was. Maddie takes a breath and looks down at her walking boots, denim shorts and her casual Penn State t-shirt from her college days. Maybe she had gone too casual? But her brother had told her the dress she had originally picked out was <em>too</em> much for a hike.</p><p>She was going to get sweaty and this was a terrible idea, she should just get in her car and pretend as though something came up. She loved her kids but they were also a ready-made excuse when she really didn’t want to do something but didn’t want to hurt someone else’s feelings. Like the time Josh had tried to get her to go to a costume party on Halloween when she had the twins waiting for her at home throwing up because their Uncle Buck had fed them far too much candy.</p><p>Dating was a stupid idea anyway, she wouldn’t even know how to fit someone else into her life between work and family and—“Maddie?” It’s too late, he’s walking over to her and he looks good, so damn good and any thought she had of leaving is suddenly gone because she can’t stop staring at the man with fluffy, soft black hair standing in front of her. He’s opted for an LAFD t-shirt that tightens around his biceps. His shorts are baggy, cutting off at the knee and she’s thankful that he’s opted for walking boots too because at least that means her brother was right (not that she would ever tell him that).</p><p>“You look about as nervous as I feel.” His laugh is nervous but somehow it relaxes her as she steps forward, tucking her car keys into her pocket as she does.</p><p>“I-I haven’t, um, done this in a really long time.” Chimney tucks both of his hands into his own pockets as he lifts his shoulders, a shy, side smile on his lips when he looks at her and he’s so endearing with a comforting aura about him that at least eases a little of the tension and the nerves that bubble inside of her.</p><p>“I haven’t either,” He takes a breath, stumbling forward to press his lips against her cheek, both of them blushing and she feels like she’s a teenager all over again when she’s staring at him, “you look beautiful.” The words only cause her cheeks to flush even more, the giggle that falls from her lips barely sounds natural before they start to walk.</p><p>It’s awkward at first, like most first dates are but the tension and the silence between them isn’t uncomfortable. Maddie is just enjoying the view (the scenery and the company), never able to get over just how beautiful LA was. The weather was still taking some getting used to but the kids absolutely adored the beach and Buck was trying to teach the twins all about surfing even though he wasn’t exactly brilliant at it himself. “Do you hike often?” She finally asks, turning her head to look at him as they walk.</p><p>“To clear my head, yeah. Work can be… stressful at times and it’s good to not have to think about anything for a little while.” He answers, with a slight shrug of his shoulders as she nods her head a little.</p><p>“I try and take the kids exploring as much as I can, I want them to grow up not being afraid of adventure, no matter how small, you know? Ella loves it, she has far too much energy but I think Caleb would rather be at home with a book or a video game sometimes.” That elicits a laugh out of him as he nods his head, whilst Maddie pauses, “I’m sorry, my brother said I shouldn’t talk about the twins a lot on a first date.”</p><p>He seems confused by that statement, his nose scrunching up, “You should talk about whatever you want, it’s not going to scare me off. I get it, you’re a mom to two amazing kids, you don’t have to hide that from me.” Maddie kind of wants to kiss him for that, but she refrains, remembering all the rules her brother had gone over with her, although each one seems more arbitrary by the second.</p><p>It gets easier with each passing moment, Chimney has this way about him that makes her feel as though she can actually relax and be herself. He asks her questions about the twins, about working at the hospital, about college and her brother and how the training is going for him and the conversation between them flows easily. She learns that he has been with the LAFD for twelve years and lost the person he thought of as a brother not too long into that. He tells her stories of his old Captain and she hates him without ever having to meet him, but his words are more affectionate when he talks about his current one.</p><p>They laugh, she’s not sure she has ever laughed so much before and by the time they get to the beach, a few hours have passed and he promises her there’s a shorter way back. It doesn’t feel as though any time has passed at all but she’s grateful to pull off the boots and socks, content when her bare feet hit the sand and she watches him pull out a picnic blanket and lay it carefully on the ground. Their shoulders brush when they sit down and it’s not the first time they’ve touched but it still causes her cheeks to heat up as she shakes her head.</p><p>Her first date with her husband had been sitting across from each other at a fancy restaurant that she hated because she was a college student and despite the fact he was paying, the prices had made her feel uncomfortable. She can remember how grown up she had felt with a glass of wine that had gone to her head all too quickly and how lucky she had felt that a doctor would even glance her way. He was handsome and he was kind, caring and he seemed to genuinely love helping people, so she had fallen hard and fast which was why accepting that he was the person he truly was had been so difficult. And then she had been twenty-three and barely out of college, pregnant with twins and marrying Doug seemed like the best choice. Her only choice, really because as her mother had said – she was a newly qualified nurse on a basic, starting salary and Doug was a surgeon, making his way up the career ladder at a terrifyingly amazing pace.</p><p>This is more casual, there’s no pressure and despite the fact the conversation had flowed, when silence had happened… it was comfortable and nice. There was no pressure to say something or do anything, he just let her look out at the view sometimes and breathe it all in. The world truly was a beautiful place, she had forgotten that for a long while. She looks out at the water with a smile, taking the bottle of water that he’s handing her before she finally turns her attention to him, “My husband died three years ago, I-I… my brother told me not to mention that, not yet because it’s not something people bring up on a first date but I just wanted you to know. And there is a lot more to the story than that and I uh… if this… if you want to—do this again. I-I just.. he’s not on the scene so… it really is just me and the twins and I know that’s a lot and—”</p><p>He’s grinning at her and she’s more than thankful when he places his hand on top of hers because it stops her from rambling when she looks down at their hands. Allowing her to actually take a breath before she scrambles her brain for a coherent thought because bringing up her dead husband always seems to cause a tension to rise in her chest no matter how much time has passed. She’d spent a long time loving him, she wonders if it’s similar to the way the body heals when someone quits smoking, and for every year he hurt her, it’ll take the same length of time for her body to heal. At least… she knows the mind might take longer. “It’s just… I guess, we’re what I’m trying to say is we’re a package deal and I get that when you date someone, you wanna date some… <em>one</em> not three but—”</p><p>“I’m happy to sign up for that package deal.” As thankful as she was when he’d put his hand on hers, she’s even more so when he interrupts her as she was able to start rambling again, the nerves building up inside of her as she blushes.</p><p>“You’re sure?”</p><p>“I’m sure,” He’s smiling at her and she finds herself visibly relaxing as she leans back a little, their eyes meeting once more, “can I kiss you?”</p><p>Maddie isn’t sure anyone has ever asked for, but the way her heart skips a beat and her tongue darts out across her bottom lip, she already knows the answer before her brain can register real words. She doesn’t trust herself to speak, knowing it’s been way too long, as she slowly nods her head, her grin wide when his lips softly move to hers and her hand rests on his cheek whilst his moves to the back of her neck.</p><p>There goes another rule her brother had told her of, but it feels good and right and she can’t stop smiling as she shifts her body a little closer to his, thumb brushing against his ear lobe before she has to come up for air, feeling slightly dazed when their noses brush together. “This view really is beautiful.” He finally whispers, both of them bursting out into laughter seconds later until his lips are back on hers and as first dates go, it’s probably her favourite.</p>
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<a name="section0004"><h2>4. Chapter 4</h2></a>
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    <p>Maddie takes a breath as she walks through the door of her brother’s apartment, biting down on her lip when she hears the sound of laughter coming from the living room. It’s nice; to live somewhere that’s loud and full of joy. She smiles as she walks a little further into the room, leaning against the wall as she watches Buck crawling in the middle of the floor, Caleb on his shoulders as he tickles a laughing Ella.</p><p>“Mommy!” She’s the first to notice when she tilts her head up, her cheeks flushed and tears of happiness falling down her face before she scrambles up to run to her, wrapping both arms tightly around her legs as she does. It takes barely a second for Caleb to join her, snuggling into her side as he grins up at her, her fingers running through his hair before she looks at her smirking brother.</p><p>“So, how did it go?”</p><p>“Despite your stupid rules, it went just fine, thank you.” Maddie should have known better than to take advice from her brother, wondering exactly when his last first date was considering she’d been in LA for a few months now and not once had he ‘dated’ a single person in that time. But still, as little dating experience as he may have had, he definitely had more than her and she had no one else to turn to. Sure, there were people in work but there was no one else who <em>knew</em> her history and knew that she was terrified about the prospect of dating anyone.</p><p>“Hey, those rules were good… wait… did you—”</p><p>Maddie rolls her eyes, “Okay, no, I didn’t break <em>that</em> rule.” She looks down at the two kids, both of them still with their arms wrapped tightly around her as though she had been gone for hours and as much as this is difficult for her, she knows it is for them, too. Honestly, she had never thought she would have to worry about anything like this. Not really. She never thought she would be ready, at least not when the kids were so young. “But yeah, most of them were a load of bullsh—crap.”</p><p>“I don’t think crap is any better a word,” Her brother points out, with a smirk on his face, “which ones did you break? Did you kiss? Did you talk about the twins? Did you mention—” He points at the twins and then at his ring finger with a grimace on his face as he does and if the twins weren’t there, it would be enough to earn him a slap upside the head. Caleb’s face buries a little further into her stomach and she knows this isn’t a conversation they should be having with the two of them so close by, clearly listening, both of them nervous about the prospect of her dating.</p><p>“Okay, why don’t you two go grab the pizza menu in the kitchen? Momma needs a shower but I am absolutely starving, get the biggest pizza with <em>all </em>the sides, okay?” That’s enough, at least, to get both of them to let go of her, although Caleb seems a little less happy about it until Ella is grabbing his hand and demanding they have mushrooms and peppers on the pizza. It’s not until they’re in the other room that she turns to her brother, a small smile on her face, “We spoke about the twins and he did not go running for the hills, which is good because I had no idea where we were. We briefly talked about my marriage, I told him that he was dead—obviously didn’t go into the optics of it all but… we’re gonna have to someday.”</p><p>“You think there’s gonna be a someday?” The look on his face has softened, his hand reaching for hers which she gladly takes, not even realising she had been shaking until she looks down, blushing.</p><p>Maddie takes a breath, “I-I think so? I mean, I don’t know, he might think it all over tonight and decide it’s too much which is fine, that’s his right but it’s best to find out now, right? I-I don’t… he doesn’t give off that impression but what do I know about men and dating.” Her little brother is grinning at her, his hand tightly squeezing her own before he lets out a fake gasp.</p><p>“Madeline Beatrix Buckley, did you break the most important rule of all? Did you <em>kiss</em> on a first date?” He lets go of her hand so his can fly to his chest, the faux scandal in his voice enough to make her laugh before she steps back with a smirk.</p><p>“I do not kiss and tell, Evan and neither should you. Rule number one in the Maddie Buckley dating book.”</p><p>She smiles when he throws an arm around her, the two of them walking to the kitchen where the sound of the twins arguing over what to have on the pizza reminding her of their own childhood for a second before she gently nudges her elbow into his side, “Thanks for letting us stay, I promise we’ll be out of your hair soon.”</p><p>“There’s no rush, it was starting to get lonely around here, anyway.”</p>
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